Rewind 5 years ago
I didn’t share much online besides a few uncaptioned pictures of my adventures… living in Hawaii, fishing adventures in Alaska, Santa Cruz sunsets.
I didn’t share my heart. I didn’t share my struggles. I was too scared to share my opinions.
I would open up on other people’s posts, but never my own.
As a result, people thought I lived this paradise of a life — because the only things that felt easy to share were the highlight reels.
My life has always has been a form of paradise.
…I don’t settle for less.
But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had very dark periods of those years of my life.
Fights about money
Struggling to pay bills/rent
Too much alcohol
Deaths
Embezzlement
Loss of friendships
Being unhappily pregnant with a baby I wasn’t expecting, while my sister lost her much awaited full-term son, Ruben.
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I didn’t know how to talk about those things publicly, so I didn’t.
Sharing those things can feel like a breach of privacy of my own life (and potentially others).
But I also didn’t like the skew, of people always telling me I have “the best life” without feeling transparent that everyone has their struggles.
With the encouragement of how it felt to read vulnerable posts from others on social media, and with my mentors bearing witness, I started sharing more and more.
The first one I really remember taking me out of my comfort zone was a post on how I felt about vaccines. I was so scared of getting attacked for my observations.
It was frightening AF, but I was surprised at how liberating it felt.
I felt lighter.
I’ve shared about getting kidnapped when I was in high school. I’ve shared about being $100k in debt and the toxic relationship I used to have with money. I’ve shared about using a stroller to shoplift. I’ve shared about being a pothead.
And every single time that I showed another facet of me, I felt my connections with others deepen. Sure, some things polarized people to unfriend me, and that’s perfect also.
The global connection we’ve been feeling ever since this quarantine started, is one of the most beautiful parts of these times.
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We crave authentic connection.
When we connect on similar experiences, it’s healing on both sides.
We don’t need more of the online façade. We need more realness.
How could you sharing your truth deepen your experience with others?
Your story and how you overcame it has the potential to heal someone else, so is keeping it inside truly of service?
If you follow Brene Brown, you know that vulnerability is what she considers to be at the root of connection. She says:
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
I’m so grateful I found a community of people who value vulnerability, who can see others struggles without judgement, and who fill my newsfeed with thought-provoking content. This quarantine would feel so different if I didn’t have that global perspective.
